I’m excited that an article I wrote was recently published on welldoing.com. It’s a look at different ways we can be attached to our possessions and homes and how that relationship can be healthy or hazardous.
My particular interest centres around the time we begin separation from our main caregiver. You may know from your children, or your own childhood that it’s common to adopt a favourite stuffed toy, blanket or special object to support us through this phase. During this phase, we begin to attribute meanings and value to objects. This phase of development helps us develop a sense of self in relation to others, to form relationships and relate to the outside world. If there is an interruption or problem during this time, then our attachment to the ‘other’ can become problematic. This can impact how we relate to others and to our possessions and homes.
I look at four different ways we can relate to our homes.
1) Obsessive-compulsive. This is when we can’t relax unless we feel absolutely everything in the home is in order and under our control. So, ‘A place for everything and everything in its place’ is taken to an extreme
2) Hoarding. People collect a disproportionate number of things and exaggerate the value of each object. This is often a way of burying trauma or trying to feel more secure.
3) Cluttered and disorderly. This is not as severe as hoarding, but many people feel overwhelmed and stuck when it comes to creating order in their home. This has an impact on many areas of their life.
4) The secure home. When you have a healthy relationship with your home, and it’s neither neglected or obsessively orderly.
A key aspect of my decluttering process is to help people move towards a secure, nurturing and supportive relationship with their home.
To read more, visit welldoing.com and please share if you find it interesting.